your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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