I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize