Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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