I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
