i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize