Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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