Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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