im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
