New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My vagina is very pro this idea
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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