Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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