i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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