That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
