Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
