how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
