I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
