i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I will pee on everything he values.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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