Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
