And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
