You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
