love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
