we have pet lesbian snakes
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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