im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
