he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
