..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
