i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
