We won't sleep together?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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