pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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