I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
