I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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