How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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