Sponge bath it is.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
