It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
