guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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