i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
