Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
