just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
