Welp...herpes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
