we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
