called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
