This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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