I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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