I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think my moral compass just broke
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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