I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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