You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
