if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
