4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
