He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
