Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
