I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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