I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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