His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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