i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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