Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
