this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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