Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
