Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
