She went from zero to smokin in five shots
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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