is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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