is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
