Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
