How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
