There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
