my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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